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Field Manual 572b: Fighting Hot When You're in a MOPP

ooc preface: closed faced helmets do not need a filter. Open faced helmets you need to wear the correct gas mask from the chemical warfare plus mod, but you only need 1 filter. You will all still need to MOPP up if we are above condition II. I turned off MOPP punctures so if you get shot don't panic. Your KAT menu will say "chemical exposure" or some such if you are exposed. Use an ATNAA injector from ACE to get rid of this. Look for the ominous fog. Avoid the ominous fog.

LEVEL I: Irritants (a.k.a. “STOP RESISTING”)

“This isn’t so bad, right?”

  • Gear Up: Just slap on a gas mask or face covering. It’s not rocket science, but double-check for leftover crumbs in your face covering.
  • Pro Tip: Don’t panic if your buddy starts sneezing like they’re auditioning for a vacuum commercial. Get some fresh air, and try not to step on them when they pass out mid-sprint.

  • Symptoms:

    • Burning sensation in eyes, nose, and throat.
    • Sudden fits of sneezing, coughing, or sounding like a wheezing accordion.
    • Short-term dizziness or “Whoa, did the ground just move?” moments.

LEVEL II: Asphyxiants (a.k.a. “The Air is Lava”)

“Why does it smell like my childhood?”

  • Gear Up: Gas masks are now mandatory, not optional. If you can smell anything, your mask is on backward. 
  • Pro Tip: Carry extra ATNAA injectors because there’s always that one guy who forgets theirs and looks at you like you’re a vending machine.

  • Symptoms:

    • Chest tightness like you just tried to bench-press a tank.
    • Dizziness, disorientation, and an unshakable feeling of “This was a bad idea.”
    • Unconsciousness, if you ignored the symptoms and tried to “walk it off.”

  • What It Smells Like:

    • Bitter almonds, your drunk Italian uncle, bad candles from the dollar store, and that ominous nothingness right before someone passes out. 

LEVEL III: Nerve Gases (a.k.a. “The Twitchy Tango”)

“Congratulations, you have 4 seconds to live starting 3 seconds ago.”

  • Gear Up: Full MOPP. It’s like wearing a snowsuit in a sauna, but hey, you’re alive!
  • Pro Tip: Your gloves are your new hands. Get comfortable with clumsily dropping grenades and trying to pick them up without pulling a Darwin Award.

  • Symptoms:

    • Uncontrollable twitching, muscle spasms, and general jitteriness like you drank 12 espressos.
    • Excessive salivation (a.k.a. foaming at the mouth).
    • Blurred vision, nausea, and a fun little sensation called “imminent doom.”

  • What It Smells Like:

    • Terrifyingly, usually nothing at all.

LEVEL IV: Blistering Agents (a.k.a. “Death by Thousand Paper Cuts”)

“Pain is temporary. Death is forever. Except here, where pain and death are lovers.”

  • Gear Up: MOPP, but think of it as your new home. Never take it off. Ever. Not even for a scratch. That itch you feel? It’s lying to you. 
  • Pro Tip: Double-check that your suit has no holes. One tiny tear and you’re playing “The Floor is Lava” with your skin.

  • Symptoms:

    • Intense burning pain, followed by the delightful surprise of blisters the size of golf balls.
    • Difficulty breathing (because why stop at just attacking your skin?).
    • Immediate regret and a newfound hatred for whoever authorized chemical warfare.

  • What It Smells Like:

    • A mix of garlic, mustard, and sulfur. Imagine cooking a terrible stir-fry on a grill made entirely of burning tires.

General Tips for Fighting Hot

  1. Hydrate or Die-drate: If you’re not sweating like a waterfall, you’re doing it wrong—or you’re already dehydrated.
  2. Buddy System: Your buddy checks you. You check him. If either of you messes up, at least you’ll die matching.
  3. Be Positive: Sure, you’re roasting alive, but so is the enemy. Find comfort in their misery.
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